Like most people in America (and most of the world) today, you’ve been following stay-at-home orders. The shift in lifestyle was huge at first. It felt scary and unreal. Like, really scary and really unreal. Four weeks later, it continues to feel scary and unreal. The accumulated stress of COVID-19 has impacted everyone.
Whether you are a family, a couple, roommates or by yourself, everyone is experiencing the stress of COVID-19.
Sometimes stress can be good for you, especially when it gives you the motivation to complete a task. Successfully dealing with stress provides a feeling of satisfaction and the belief that you can handle challenging situations. A certain amount of stress is necessary for people to thrive.
But, the kind of stress created by this pandemic is very different. It has shaken-up not only the world as a whole, but also your community and maybe even your sense of who you are. You are probably left wondering how to continue moving forward when you’re simultaneously feeling stuck in place.
In an effort to continue moving forward, you’ve probably done your best to “keep-it-together” and make the changes you’ve needed to make. I hear how people are “keeping-it-together” in different situations. I’ve heard how:
You’ve kept it together when you suddenly had to figure out how to work from home.
And, when you couldn’t see family or friends.
You kept it together when homeschooling became part of your everyday life.
Graduations, proms and advancements became virtual…sometimes.
You kept it together when dear friends had to postpone their wedding.
And, when you could no longer go to the beach, the park, or the trails.
And, when jobs were lost.
When basic food supplies were scarce. And, toilet paper a rarity!
You kept it together when babies were born. Even though family or friends couldn’t see you, and postpartum plans fell apart.
You may have even kept it together, maybe, when people you know became ill.
You even kept it together as information shifted or changed and uncertainty was the only certainty.
The problem with “keeping-it-together” all of the time is that there is very little opportunity to stop and acknowledge how things have changed. It’s difficult to acknowledge the gaping holes this pandemic has created in your lives. And, it’s impossible to mourn the losses, both big and small, that you have experienced.
This is no longer just a global pandemic crisis. This is a psychological crisis. There is a global sense of loss and sorrow that we are all, collectively, experiencing. Everyone has lost something. Even if the losses you have experienced are not particularly great or even if they feel ambiguous or benign, there is still a loss.
Sometimes this loss is a result of the loss in the safety of the systems you have depended upon in the past. Education, healthcare, work, community and financial systems have all changed.
These changes have led to a loss of what previously was. These are the losses that you need to make space for. These are the losses that cannot and should not be glossed over as you do your best to “keep-it-together”. When you make space for and mourn these losses, you are able to acknowledge them and recognize that life is now different. Some of the changes you have experienced may continue well past the end of this pandemic crisis.
With the awareness of how things have changed and what you have lost, you make space for something new. You can adapt. You can keep moving forward, even if it looks different than what you had expected.
It doesn’t matter if the loss is big or small. It matters that it is acknowledged. Everyone, including you, should have the space to describe your experience, your loss, your struggle and your stress. When you have done that, you can the identify the strengths you have recognized in yourself. You can identify how you have coped. You can access the support systems you have in your circles. You can be vulnerable with the people who matter to you. You can support others too.
Connecting with others and being there with others, even if it is virtual, is how you will get through this. Social distancing is only intended to be physical. It does not mean emotional distancing from others. Finding ways to connect with the important people in your life is essential. Recognizing that you are important to someone helps you find meaning. Staying connected with others through phone calls, video calls, texting or social media helps maintain that.
The stress of COVID-19 can be managed. Acknowledge what has changed. Mourn your losses, both big and small. Find your people. You can feel like you are able to do more than just “keep-it-together” and you can move forward with awareness and resilience.
Connect here fore individual therapy resources
Recent Comments